Like it or not, attending a susrali wedding is a lot of fun. It is not a day’s or a week’s event, but a series of events that last for months: the preparation, invitations, shopping, Mangni, Mayoun, Mehndi, Nikah, Barat, Walima and then dinners, you are expected to be there – no matter what.
Enjoy reading these 20 common sentences you hear at a susrali wedding:
01. Yeh wohi jora hai na…
Imagine you spend a fortune and weeks getting that beautiful jora ready just to attend your Khala Saas ke baitay ki shadi, and the aunty sitting next to you asks, “Beta, yeh jora bohat pyara hai, ye wohi hai na jo tumne Naila Bhabhi ki beti ki Mehndi pe pehna tha? Kapray pooray kaisay aagaye? Kaafi moti ho gaee ho na.”
02. Bechara kangla hojaye ga…
Whether your makeup skills are excellent or not, aunties at susrali weddings have nothing to do with that. All they want to talk about is makeup kitna kiya hua hai. You might hear one or two aunties sitting across the table comment on your makeup as they go, “Lagta hai parlour se makeup karaya hai…haath toh waise he kaalay hain! Shohar bechara, kangla hojaye ga biwi ke nakhray utthhatay utthhatay.”
03. Agla bacha kab aarha hai?
This is that one sentence that you will listen to in every susrali wedding at least thrice. It has nothing to do with your years of marriage. Whenever you meet your husband’s Phupho on a wedding, she’d remark, “Meri Dolly ki shadi ke pehle paanch saalo mein he teen bachay hogaye thay. Tumhara agla bacha kab aarha hai? 6 saal toh hogaye khair se tumhari shadi ko.”
04. Aagay se chaar suna diya karo…
It is very much possible that you are sitting with you Saas and Nand, laughing and having dinner, that all of a sudden one aunty makes her way to your table, grabs a chair nearby, sits very close to you and suddenly whispers, “Tumhari Saas aur Nandain tumharay sath theek hain na? Tumhein kuch bolain toh tum aagay se chaar suna diya karo.”
05. Main ne toh pehchana he nahi…
This so happens that you are receiving guests at your Dewar ki shadi and your Susar’s long lost friend’s wife goes, “Acha…Tum Saabir bhai ki bahu ho. Main ne toh pehchana he nahi. Makeup jo itna kiya hua hai na.”
06. Salami hazaar bohat hai.
You are heading to the stage to greet the couple that suddenly your Saas pulls you aside holding your arm and says, “Salami kitni rakhi hai? Hazaar hai na? Hazaar bohat hai, Chintoo ki shadi mein bhi humain hazaar he mili thi.”
07. Miaan kahan hai? Nazar rakha karo.
Now there will be susrali aunties who will criticize you if you sit with your husband while there will be another group of aunties who will believe that if your husband is not sitting with you, he will find doosri biwi. You never know when out of nowhere an aunty inquires, “Miaan kahan hai? Tum ne lagta hai qabu nahi kiya isi liye wo dekho larkio se hans hans ke baatein ker raha hai. Nazar rakha karo, kaheen hath se nikal he na jaye.”
08. Baal dhoop mein safaid nahi kiye…
Imagine it is your husband’s cousin’s Mayoun. You walk up to the stage and as soon as you are done with salami and rasmain, an old aunty with white hair and hunched back, holds your hand and asks you to help her get off the stage. You do it with pride. Then she begins doubting your Beta paida kerne ki salahiyat. No, she won’t stop here. She will continue by giving you all the totkas that you just can’t turn a deaf ear to. If you even dare to stop her politely, the last remark would be, “Beta, hum ne baal dhoop mein safaid nahi kiye.”
09. Beta, zara utho…
Suppose it is your husband’s first cousin’s Walima and fortunately you just got some space on the crammed sofa on the stage for that one family picture, that suddenly an overweight aunty pushes you aside with ease and says, “Beta, zara utho toh. Main ne tasweer khichwani hai.”
10. Mehndi nahi lagaee? Jewellery kaha hai?
If you ever decide to go to your susrali wedding without mehndi walay hath or sonay ke kangan, get ready to be thrashed by all the susrali aunties. In the first ten seconds the groom’s mother will notice and announce right in front of your Saas, “Beta, mehndi nahi lagaee? Sonay ke kangan nahi pehnay? Hath bilkul khaali? Bhabhi, apni Bahu ko poocha nahi aapnay?”
11. Dance kero gi? Uff tauba!
So you have been enjoying your Dewar ki shadi ki tayarian and have been busy practising dances, and finally the day is here. As soon as you step on stage, your husband’s tayee proclaims, “Dance? Dance karo gi? Uff tauba!”
12. Dulhan ka jora pata hai kitnay ka hai?
A susrali shadi – the perfect opportunity for all the snitchers of the family to gossip about every single person of the family. Wherever you go, you will definitely overhear a group of young girls discuss dulhan ka jora as they say, “Dulhan ka jora pata hai kitnay ka hai? 3 lakh ka!”
13. Beta kamzor ho gya hai…
Susrali weddings would be pretty boring, if they were only about watching the couple tie the knot because these weddings are the perfect events for the family pot stirrers to criticize anyone they can target – be it your own 2 year old baby, they’d go, “Haye, Beta bara kamzor hogya hai tumhara, kuch khhilati pilaati nahi ho bachay ko?”
14. Saaray lifafay apnay paas rakh liye…
Another pretty interesting sentence that you’d most probably overhear by a very observant aunty would be, “Dulhan ki saas ko toh dekho, saaray lifafay apnay paas rakh liye hain.”
15. Saari kohjiyaan…
One of the so many reasons, you see so many old women at susrali weddings is rishta. There is always one group of aunties you’d find at every susrali wedding who would be checking out girls on the dance floor, on the stage or across the tables for their unmarried sons and you’d definitely catch one of them say, “Mujhe to mere Shahzaib ke liye aik bhi larki pasand nahi aee, saari kohjiyaan!”
16. Mujhe de do, Pappu kay liye rakh loon.
Best thing about the nikkah is bidh. Yes, those cute little favour pouches that one receives on a nikkah ceremony. If by accident you or the women on your table happen to receive more than one pouch, within five minutes an aunty will jostle you, push you away and grab that unclaimed bidh ki potli saying, “Beta, ye doosri thaili kis ki hai, mujhe de do, Pappu kay liye rakh loon.”
17. Bus 04 dishes? Itni kanjoosi
So it is khhana time. You are standing in a queue, waiting for all the buzurg aunties to fill up their plates so that you get your chance. As soon as you get your chance, you overhear an aunty express her concerns about larki walo ki kanjoosi, “Bus 4 dishes? Itni kanjoosi wo bhi apni beti ki shadi pe…tauba tauba!”
18. Itna bara gala, tauba tabua!
At susrali weddings, there will always be one aunty who would constantly share her keen observations with all the aunties around her. From larkio kay figure to their high heels; she would provide non-stop commentary on every single jawan larki present there. No wonder as soon as she spots a girl with bara gala whom she can’t stand anymore, she’d scream, “Itna bara gala! Tauba tauba!”
19. Suna hai…
Another common sentence you’d hear at a susrali wedding will start with “Suna hai”. This aunty will start with all the things she has heard or not heard about dulhan ka jahez to dulha ki tankhwah. This aunty starts predicting the bechari Saas ka future by saying, “Suna hai eik bajay so kay uthhti hai dulhan ki bari behen. Naila baji toh gaeen.”
20. Facebook pe meri friend request tumne accept nahi ki
If you haven’t yet, you better check all the pending Facebook friend requests ‘cause you never know that on your Nand ka Nikah your husband’s Phupho complains right in front of your Susar and Saas, “Beta, main tumharay mian ki Phupho hoon, Facebook pe meri friend request tumne abhi tak accept nahi ki! Main naraz hoon!”
Do these sentences remind you of some susrali shadi? What else have you heard on your susrali weddings? Share in the comments.