One of the things I really miss about being single is having the liberty to easily say “NO” to any khandan ki dawat(s) without any fear of upsetting or angering a family member. This freedom vanishes after marriage. Why? Because now you are a separate family and in case you miss the event, then it will be considered as the ultimate cardinal sin.
The first phase of this madness starts immediately after the wedding. Apparently people’s cravings are not satisfied by attending just two to three GRAND & LAVISH wedding functions i.e. Mehndi, Baraat, and Walima. You will suddenly find all family members lining up and literally forcing the couple to visit their houses first. The logic behind this competition beats me. The family whose invitation is first accepted by the bride/groom WINS! The rest of the invitations follow and the couple is forced to attend back to back family gatherings and gulp down unhealthy/oily food.
Well, I’m not for or against this tradition of ‘Dawat Marathons’. I’m just saying that the family members need to at least give some breathing space to the newbies. How are they expected to settle down or adjust in their new lives/routines when every other day they are supposed to attend a party?
DRESS UP – EAT – REPEAT! After shaadi, this mantra defines the lifestyle of the new couples for the first six months after the wedding.
It gets even more frustrating when both partners are working professionals and have to go to work the next day. They already have taken a limited number of leaves for their wedding, 70% of which is spent in wedding events. The remaining 30% which they expect to dedicate to traveling, going out or spending some alone time together is taken away by these unnecessary dawats.
A friend who recently joined back work after marriage and Covid-19 shared her ordeal of juggling her new life, in-laws, office, and housework along with all these dawats. She and her husband are tired and suffer from a lack of sleep. After work, they often have to attend a dawat; even their weekends are not spared.
On a concluding note, I’ll say that instead of hosting multiple parties, all the family members can pool in and have one or at max two combined get together(s). In this way, time and money would be saved and the couple would also be spared from the excessive plans.