The first relation Allah (s.w.t) made in this world is of husband and wife. It is the most beautiful and prestigious relationship in the eyes of the Almighty. It is often said that husband and wife are the two wheels of a bicycle, and if one fails, the cycle will eventually fall and the marriage will fail, so every relation in this world needs balance.
Allah Ta’ala said, ” And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, And He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” Quran (30:21)
Marriage is the strongest yet the weakest of all relations. Living with a bossy person is not easy, and if you have to be with one for a lifetime, you need to set some rules because it’s not a relation between two bodies, but two souls.
Allah has ranked a man a step ahead of a woman. But at the same time, a man is bound to respect his wife. Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, “Best among you is the one, who is best to his wife, and I am best among you in dealing with my wives”.
But what if a man tries to be superior, more dominant, and more dictatorial? Then it results in marriage failures. Then what should a wife do? How can she save her marital relationship? What steps should she take?
Here are some points for the wife to consider:
Acknowledging each other’s strengths and flaws
No one in this world is perfect, but the one who admits his mistake is better. The same is the case with the person with a dominant nature. Maybe he was brought up like this, maybe no one has yet complained about his dictatorial nature.
Bedtime is the most important and beautiful time in a couple’s life. The wife should talk to the husband…talk about his good things and gestures, assure him that she knows that he loves her, and then she should tell him about the things that bother her. She can ask him to be polite and discuss that they should make the decisions mutually. She shouldn’t make him more stubborn with her anger. With time, the situation will change if he loves you.
Wife, not property
Love doesn’t mean accepting one’s dominance over the other, it’s about equality and self-respect. A wife is not a thing or a property to be ruled over. She is an individual too. But sometimes dominance is given the name of possessiveness. It might be true in some cases, but not for all. It’s sometimes the habit of a man to rule the woman.
The wife shouldn’t give her complete self to be controlled by someone else. She should set boundaries. She has her own opinions, and she must be given a voice. Agreeing or compromising on her terms doesn’t work all the time.
Waiting for the dead-end?
In this modern world, many wives are tortured by their so-called husbands. Life is precious. Patience and politeness work wonders, but not every time. Being too patient with someone’s domineering nature may result in the husband becoming abusive and violent.
Every relationship encounters a bad period, but to save your marriage, give your husband a chance. But destroying your self-respect and reaching a situation where your husband thinks that he has the right to abuse you, is insane. You are his wife and not a slave.
Dealing with a dominating husband
To deal with a dominating husband the wife can try to communicate, be patient, and tolerant. But that too up to a certain limit. The wife must set boundaries and not let him control her like a robot. Many women lose their lives tolerating such situations, and trust me they don’t get a medal.
Marriages are all about the right balance. And “balance” doesn’t mean that you have to love what your better half loves or to give up things you love just to prove your love for your spouse; it’s about accepting each other with their goods and bad.