Through Your Heart’s Eyes
It’s funny how the warning signs can be right in front of our eyes but how blind our hearts might make us. These signs could literally be dancing in front of us naked, and we could still be oblivious to it all because the cycle has been going on for so long that it has become a part of our routines. We have forgotten what true working marriage is supposed to look like because we are scared of opening our eyes and stepping out of our comfort zones.
The Stranger In Your Home
If your marriage has been reduced to nothing but closed doors and hurriedly whispered conversations where no one has the energy to add their two cents or disagree, know that the trouble has begun. Next, come the arguments. These might be often and repetitive, going over the same pointless misunderstandings over and over again reaching no conclusion…with sharply worded daggers stabbing holes through the rocky foundation of your marriage. Or the arguments might disappear altogether like the physical attraction, the chemistry, and the romance.
Conversations with your spouse seem less like loving banter but more like showdowns full of criticism, taunts, sighs, and saucy looks until you stop turning to them when an emergency arises. They stop becoming your number one cheerleader and support system to fall back on, or the first one to call when you need some reassurance, but you actually go out of your way to avoid seeing their face. The face of a stranger whose features might vaguely resemble someone you once knew but their words and actions seem so foreign and strange.
You Are Listening But Not Really Listening…
Your life has become a constant stream of secrets and lies. You feel like Daenerys Stormborn from The Game Of Thrones, as you feel like you can trust no one, and have to tread carefully through the minefield which has become your marriage, always calculating and holding your breath for the next big argument. You are always on guard with your eyes and ears peeled, which has left you permanently tired and exhausted, to the point of passive resignation and low self-esteem. You have just given up on the thought that they would ever respect your interests and opinions ever again. You feel as dead as your sex life.
The red lights and the sirens are blaring off the hook if you have started even considering infidelity, trying to find comfort in someone else’s arms or if your sixth sense and plain old trusty logic are telling you that your spouse is either more attached to another person or drugs than you. If they are putting gambling and cheap booze above you, your sacred vows, and spending quality time with you, things can only go downhill from here, and you need to wake up and leave this wreckage before you go down with it.
What you think is love might be an emotional addiction to a pattern of inconsistent attention and affection. Stop being the only one always making the compromises and giving your hundred percent and effort to a relationship that is already up in flames. Distancing yourself is not the same thing as being cruel. Having expectations is not the same thing as being delusional or malicious!
Every marriage is different as is every individual. But if any of the above makes you look over your shoulder to check if I secretly have eyes on you because all that seems too freakishly relatable, it might be time to reevaluate some stuff. It might be time to acknowledge the flashing lights warning you of the catastrophe lying ahead and break the toxic cycle of silent suffering once and for all.