Changes In Your Life After Getting Married Into A Joint Family System
Marriage is a new chapter in a girl’s life. There is a reason why people ask if you feel differently after saying “Qabool hai” and the answer is most likely to always be, “Yes!” Not just because they have a husband, but because once you’re married, your life completely changes for good or for the worse and
you have to figure out how to compromise. While some of these changes are minor, others can have huge effects on your physical and mental health, and even on your personality. And above all that if you had been living at your parent’s place and have shifted in susral (joint family system) after marriage, the changes for you will be more drastic. Here is a vivid picture of what the new normal life for you is going
to be like. Grab tight because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Change in routine
If your husband is a workaholic, you’re going to have to wake up early and not just that, but serve breakfast, help him get ready… be ready for random “mere jootay nahien mil rahai” to “mujhai zara meri file uper se laa do” calls while you’re making breakfast. If you’re an ikloti bahu you might also have
to make breakfast for the whole house. Sounds tough? Well, the hard work pays off when you get that peck on your forehead when you go to see your husband off to the gate. You’ll find yourself getting dressed according to his routine of getting home. Also, your sleep pattern will have to adjust with your partner’s so you can make out of the time you get together.
Change in yourself
After you get married you become more conscientious, meaning that you become more likely to consider your husbands’ needs. Their routine changes your routine, and their nature changes your nature. You’ll find yourselves having new hobbies and new habits and later on notice where you’ve picked them from. Your choice of music or movies might also change, like you might find yourself listening to Punjabi songs whereas you hated them before marriage and only used to listen to Hollywood. If you were an extrovert after marriage you might also feel more introvert. Your emotional stability changes. You’ll spend money differently. You might find yourself getting excited about buying new crockery. The list goes on…
Change of your role
Remember how your mother used to ask, “Aaj khanay main kia banaon?” and you used to say, “Phir wohi sawal?” Well, you won’t be the one making all the farmaishain about what you want to eat anymore, rather the other members of the family will be making them and you will be fulfilling them. You will have the responsibility on your shoulder – no matter how small it is. You’ll be answerable in most cases. It’s overwhelming in the beginning, but once you get used to the changed roles, you start enjoying them. Life goes on.
Change in reaction
You might figure out how to cope with certain people, how to ignore some issues you wouldn’t have ignored as a bachelor because compromise is important to avoid petty issues. Your problem solving skills will need to be sharpened because as big of a change marriage is for you, living in a totally new family with new people, new values, new rules and regulations is also quite overwhelming and most susralis don’t consider this fact. While you shouldn’t completely compromise your own happiness for your spouse and his family, learning how to listen and compromise on contentious issues is something you’ll learn. So, you exhibit more self-control and you’ll learn to improvise.
Change in your physical appearance
Generally, women are more likely to pack on the pounds after marriage. It could be due to the hormonal changes or due to the fact that they skip their diet plan in the excitement and tend to start caring less about their figure. In susral, the bad part is that the susralis will keep on rubbing this fact in your face and asking weird questions about why your physical appearance has changed as if they were born yesterday. It gets tough for some women to cope with the remarks, but it’s natural and soon you’ll either learn to make peace with it or get motivated and do something about it.
Change in “FUN”
Now that you’re married you don’t need any occasion to dress up anymore, rather you can do it as often as you feel like and the husband gets happy as well. Oh, and since you’re dressing up for your husband, sawaab is your bonus.
You won’t be needing permissions or feeling guilty for going on a date anymore. Go to watch a movie or have a romantic long walk to wherever you feel like and whenever you want. Getting permission from the in-laws in some cases may be required but that won’t be your task, your husband will be doing it.
Change in feelings
You’ll learn to lean on your better half. You’ll know you have someone you can rely on who will always be by your side even in the worst of times you’ll have someone you can count on. Someone who will help you to adjust in a new place and a new family. You’ll have a new gossip partner and a new best friend!