Joint-Family SystemLife in Susral

Living With The In-laws – Pros And Cons

Would you like to stay with in-laws or not after marriage? What are the pros and cons of staying with your in-laws? Why should one live in a joint family system?

These are some common questions when a girl is married to a man. In this article, we discuss some common advantages and disadvantages of living with Susral (in-laws).

Marriage is a form of an agreement between two souls to live a fulfilling and comfortable life. In today’s world, marriage has to be made stable for long survival by putting effort from men and women. It has to be said that marriage is not only between two people but also a commitment to leading a life with each other’s family. 

In our society wives are required to live a life with their husband and his family with respect, patience, a positive attitude, and energy. An energetic, active, and humble wife is a symbol of today’s daughter-in-law.

Seldom it’s possible that a daughter-in-law or wife understands the family of the husband and accepts them as they are and sees them as her very own parents. It’s impossible because of the societal pressure, psychological differences, and uprooted forefather’s opinion. It depends upon fate, luck, or both.

It’s the 21st century and day by day the man has made many contributions in his life and society with a better education. Due to advanced education, much research, and as time passes by, society has improved and social issues are well settled. But it remains a problem for low-level society or the poor. The Uneducated or less literate look down upon their daughter-in-law as a different personality as she is not from blood relation and not emotionally attached. Due to this she denies living with her in-laws and wants to live separately with her husband and kids.

Some pros and cons of living with Susral (in-laws) have been discussed below.

Pros of living with the Susralis (in-laws):

Let’s see if it is good to have your in-laws live with you. The following list will help you understand why living with the in-laws a good idea: 

  • A Bahu a.k.a the daughter-in-law (irrespective of class, culture, cast) if adjusted well with the in-laws and with their way of living, will prosper efficiently.
  • It’s a blessing to live with Susral (in-laws) because of day-by-day learning. 
  • Decent and educated in-laws make life easily adjustable for the daughter-in-law.
  • The cooking expertise and budget management are improved by mutual learning and observation. It’s a lifetime process of learning.
  • Husband and wife are much involved with the joint family on festivals, weddings, and birthdays. They exchange gifts with love that creates peace.
  • People live together to avoid the hustle and long-distance issues.
  • In upper and middle-class families, business-minded people mostly live in a joint family system and this can help them in times of loss. 
  • Children are easily nurtured by sharing responsibility among the in-laws and parents.
  • Conversations between in-laws are useful, which tends to improve mutual understanding.
  • The in-laws are equally present at times of sorrow and happiness.
  • Parents become happy to see the family of their son and daughter-in-law flourishing.

Cons of living with Susralis (in-laws):

Although living with the inlaws proves to be healthy in some cases, we also know why living with in-laws can be a bad idea.

  • Every girl sees herself as independent after getting married and wants to live in a nuclear family.
  • She desires to have a home that accepts her as their own daughter so that she can work, she can eat whatever she wants. She wants to fulfill her dream by living in a nuclear family and taking full responsibility for her kids.
  • One who cannot live independently has to listen to the in-laws.
  • She is meant to take responsibility for the whole house including kitchen, house, husband, children, and in-laws.
  • She remains too busy that she forgets about looking after herself that her health and fitness deteriorate. It can be exhausting for the wife and the whole house as well. She fails to look after herself.
  • She can never express independently to the in-laws’ family or cannot easily discuss her parents’ way of living.
  • The in-laws want the wife to accept the house as her house and adjust to that environment. This is her husband’s home. Every woman should know that her husband’s home is her home.
  • She has to accept how they live, how they manage the budget, what they eat, what they do, and much more.


It’s an equal choice for both husband and wife to decide whether to live in a joint family system or not. Only little things are needed: care, love, positive thinking, patience, space, and understanding between husband and wife. Then living with the Susralis (in-laws) can never be a burden.

Let’s smile together for it’s a short time.

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Sidra Afzal shows interest in learning from society and societal issues. She wants Pakistan an equal place for all. The results drawn from Learning can create awareness in youth.

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