Joint-Family SystemLife in Susral

To The Unwelcoming Susralis, I Will Remember This Welcome Forever

This is coming from a girl who leaves behind her family, house, and comfort zone to begin this new chapter of life. 

Just because I am your son’s choice and we both love each other, you decide to make my first day at home miserable? This is not the kind of welcome any girl would expect, not even your daughter, but the question is, “Will you ever accept me as your daughter?” Well, I am not an outsider, nor I am invisible. I deserve love and respect.  

It is extremely hurtful when someone withholds their blessings, and the feeling of being rejected is disturbing. I still remember, my Saas (mother-in-law) did not even bother looking at me when I entered the house. Not even for once, she checked on me or asked if I was well-settled. The reason behind this was evident- her possessiveness for her son. Instead of making the girl’s life hell at the Susral (in-laws), mothers need to realize there is no competition. Moreover, my Saas has a strong influence on her daughters as well, which means her negative energy is transferred to her daughters, and the entire family functions according to her mood. I am glad my husband is sane and vocal, sometimes. 

Ever wondered what creates distance between people and families? Silence, reluctance, bad behavior, miscommunication, and above all, denial. When the family is in the denial, how do you even expect the girl to adjust? If not for me, then at least for the sake of your son, please accept me and be kind. 

I questioned myself, “When I am ready to move out of my comfort zone, why his family can’t accept me?” For sure, I didn’t want to bother my husband, but his family’s rude behavior was evident, and he noticed it. For weeks, we avoided this conversation, and I took advantage of every opportunity where I thought I could build a good relationship with my mother-in-law.

It took me a few months to realize that all my efforts are useless, and there is no way I can change her attitude. Knowing the fact I have to live with my Saas, I had to find myself a solution. I understood how this unwelcoming behavior was consuming me both mentally and physically, and I must stop worrying now. If something is meant to be, it will be. Hence, I should only focus on my relationship with my husband. Maybe at a later stage of life, my Saas will change because miracles happen every day. 

To date, I don’t share the bitter side of my married life with my parents and siblings because I don’t want them to take tension. Surprisingly, my Saas acts normal in front of my family, and she turns out to be loving when our extended families are around. Let’s call it dual personality disorder, never mind. 

Hang in there girls, the journey is long and bumpy, but one day it will be worth it. Don’t let anyone’s negative attitude impact you, and be the light you deserve. I have made peace with my situation for now, and hope is what keeps me alive. 

Share your post-wedding experience at the in-laws in the comment section, and stay tuned for more articles.

Thank you!

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A digital marketer, student and a content writer trying to make the most of life. I believe in finding joy in little things.

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