What Happened To The Good, Old Me?

Sometimes in the middle of the night when I get to meet myself, the only time when I am with myself, just wondering how all these years have totally changed me, from a carefree teenager to a sensitive, anxious woman. 

Where is my full of life self gone who used to laugh with friends, who loved dancing in the rain, who played ghar ghar with her siblings and enjoyed playing with her dolls in the bright daylight, who always enjoyed climbing on the walls and trees in the afternoon, playing cricket, flying kites and the list goes on. What beautiful memories and carefree days which look like a dream now. 

Then a time came when I started thinking about a person who will come into my life one day and I will have an independent life,  my own home and I will enjoy the freedom which I didn’t have as a young girl. This is the time in every girl’s life thinking about her endless dreams. 

Every girl gets married with a dream of having her own home which she can arrange according to her own will. 

Well, as we say everything comes with a package. 

Similarly marriage is a full package of continuous dealing with love and hate, happiness and sorrow, moods and swings, expectations and reality.

A girl once carefree and innocent becomes an agitated woman in a golden caged reality. Once she waited for so long, she never expected this to be the reality.

This whole package is a real one and not a dream. 

Almighty Allah has given so much patience and strength to a woman that she accepts to happily brace all the ups and downs for her loved ones. She keeps loving and face everything keeping herself strong than before just hoping everything will be perfect one day according to her dreams. 

In all this game of life, she loses all her sanity, goes out of the way making everyone happy all her life but no one is actually happy. 

You can’t make everyone happy even if you give your life to them. 

Husband-wife relationship is beautiful and strong yet so strange. 

Both do so much for each other  all their life yet your love and care for each other is questioned mostly at the most testing times.

They say love is blind but love should be brave enough to give you that strength to maintain your sanity and respect while dealing with all the ups and downs together, coping with insane realities, dealing with all the people being unfair to you and still loving each other the same way. This takes a lot of courage but one has to master this trait. 

Parents, specially mothers have  an important role in our life. Our society and our so called morals and values are so jumbled up that our kids have a confusing personality. 

They can’t differentiate between right and wrong as it’s always different for everyone according to their own mind and will. 

They can’t understand that there’s a difference in doing everything for others out of love and respect and keeping quiet and agreeing to every wrong out of fear. One should know this difference. 

We make them so confused with undue comparisons that they stop trusting their own capabilities. 

We make them so confused and hooked up that they don’t get to enjoy their independence as a married and mature person. 

They are so confused that they are unable to take any decision in their life for their own family. 

They are so confused that they can’t enjoy the beautiful bond called marriage as they never get that independence to cherish the beautiful moments. 

Why do we make our beautiful kids into confused adults who can’t balance their responsibilities towards their partner and parents fairly? 

Why do we break the heart of that innocent, young girl who comes in our family with all the beautiful dreams? We just confine her in this golden cage and she just keeps herself going in a hope that everything will be perfect one day according to her dreams. 

If a few things I could teach my kids as a wise parent : 

When it’s time, 

Give them space 

Let them grow, 

Let them cherish 

the small things in life, 

Let them follow their dreams, experience the beauty of every relationship on their own. 

Let them build the life they love 

Let them survive the storm on their own

Let the love in families flow strong and deep,

Leaving beautiful memories to treasure and keep

Stay Happy Feel Beautiful 💕