Starting on a positive note, I will say that having SIL (sister-in-law) is actually great since, in the initial phase of your marriage, they can help you adjust and feel comfortable in your new home; but all relationships do come with their downsides as well.
This article focuses on married SILs and how their visits with their kids affect your life and privacy.
As the Pakistani or Asian culture goes, you are already living with your extended family i.e. your FIL (susar) and MIL (saas) which is acceptable to a certain extent. But things really tend to go overboard when your home and your SIL’s ‘Maikah’ are in the same location. As a new bride, you are already struggling with a million things; be it trying to set your routine, your room, taking part in house chores, learning to make ‘GOL roti’ etc. What if you also have to deal with the added pressure of SIL’s FREQUENT visits and that too with her husband and kids?
Let’s talk about the effects these visits have on your privacy:
Well for starters you will be required to look your very best at all times – Your dreams of wearing your PJ’s and Tees and being makeup FREE go down the drain. If the SIL’s hubby shows up, then get ready to be further uncomfortable by donning a dupatta & jewelry.
Forget your plans and tasks for the day – You will have to push cleaning the house, washing clothes or any activity that you had planned to another day because now you will have to spend the day talking to your SIL, taking care of her kids or taking on the extra chores i.e. (Dishwashing/ Cooking) and of course if you were planning on a long peaceful drive with your hubby then don’t forget to take the SIL’s kids along for some ice-cream.
Alone time with Hubby is a dream now – Your hubby was already balancing his time between you and his parents. Now that time is further divided between the SIL and her kids. He will be considered a ‘BIWI ka Ghulam’ if he neglects to give that time.
Headache + Heartache caused by SIL’s screaming kids – The majority of us live in small apartments or homes. Imagine your day starting and ending with the shrill voices of your SIL’s little kids, not to mention them running around your house creating a ruckus, breaking your plants, or jumping on your bed/pillows with their dirty little feet. At times your house feels like a madhouse or a guest house. The last resort would be spending the whole day in your room with the door closed. But if we do that so ah! ‘SIL kya sochay gee and log kia kahaingay?’
Living as a GUEST in your own home – In such cases, your jurisdiction is only limited to your own bedroom. You can literally just forget about setting up your dream home because what’s the point of doing all that when it will take your SIL’s kids a mere second to ruin everything.
Well, the points are endless and honestly, this is a topic on which I could go on and on.
In a follow-up article, I will discuss how ‘BAHUS’ can handle such situations. For now, I would request all SILs to be more considerate while visiting their ‘Maikahs’. It’s your right to visit your parents’ home and no one is stopping you or taking away that right from you. But once your dear brother gets married, then be a little considerate and limit your visits so that your beloved Bhai and bhabhi can get some privacy and some breathing space to enjoy their married life and set up their new home.