Parenting In A Joint Family System
Parenting is the process of upbringing your child and fostering his physical, social, religious and emotional development. The experience of parenting is something which is different for different people. Parenting in Susral, however, is a roller coaster ride having many ups and downs and many pros and cons which we will be discussing in this article.
Cons of Parenting in a Joint family System:
Let’s start with the cons to prepare you mentally. Now you think you’ve survived pregnancy and your Susralis (in-laws) will let you go on with parenthing the way you have planned to, but hold that thought because the new normal for you might not be the way you thought it would be. Here are some cons you’d want to keep in mind if you are planning to start your parenthood journey in Sural:
01. Getting used to being told your kid is too weak or too slow or too healthy or inactive. The list goes on. Rude comments can also be passed about your child. But you’ll just have to keep ignoring.
02. Your kid will constantly be compared to other kids of his age. Comments like “Our daughter’s child used to run when he was this age or he used to talk so fluently while yours can’t,” will constantly be passed.
03. You might also want to get used to inappropriate questions and too much information about breastfeeding being served to you whenever they feel like it.
04. Being told not to upload pictures of your child to social media is also something your in-laws might demand because of Nazar (The evil eye).
05. You will always be told what’s best for your child because they have more experience.
06. If you’re giving too much attention or time to your child, they’ll say “We used to have 6-7 children and never did such chonchalay like you do.” If you’re letting him learn on his own or trying to make him independent, they’ll comment on how you are an irresponsible mother.
07. Sometimes your way of parenting might be called too modern because when different people live together everyone has an opinion about everything and that might be a bit too overwhelming for you.
08. Your child might also learn bad manners from your Susralis that you can’t control because he will always be surrounded by them and children are quick learners. They might lose discipline that you had been trying so hard to school them about but you won’t be able do anything about it.
09. Even a small decision you might want to make about your child would have to run by everyone. Whether it’s about your child’s health, diet, routine or schooling.
Pros of Parenting in a Joint family System:
However, parenting in Susral is not all that bad, there are some pros of raising your child in a joint family system too.
01. They say it takes a village to raise a child. So, you’ll be needing all the hands you can get and if you are living in a joint family system that should not be a problem and you’ll always have a babysitter around.
02. In this case the disadvantage of having TOO MANY people under one roof can turn to your advantage and so your baby will never be alone.
03. Even if your mother in law hates you, no one can be rude to a little child. They’ll love him unconditionally. Your child will develop a bond with his grandparents’ aunties and uncles.
04. Your child becomes more social and learns a lot of new words from his surroundings. This has a healthy impact on the child’s learning skills and social skills. If he has other children of his age group in the house, he might even find a best friend among his first cousins.
05. They learn to respect elders from a very early age.
06. They become more religiously strong as they observe people practicing ibadat rather than just being preached about it and that has a healthy effect on the child.
So, let me know in the comments what you think? Do the pros over-weigh the cons?
Share your experiences, let’s interact.