My Dear Saas,
To date you are possessive about your kids, which includes my husband as well, but why do you expect me to remain calm when you spoil my kids?
Unfortunately, in our Asian society, grandparents are applauded for spoiling their grandchildren, and nobody talks about the struggle and frustration a mother has to go through in the entire process.
The joint family system comes with its consequences. My Saas is overindulgent with my kids, and this is just the beginning of the problem.
How does my mother-in-law (Saas) spoil my kids? Here we go:
- She spoils them by giving them gifts, which means they can’t take a ‘NO’ anymore.
- She spoils them by giving them chocolates, which means they are developing tantrums and have poor eating habits.
- She doesn’t scold them when they are wrong, which means they are developing attitude problems.
- She takes them out without my consent, which means they no longer feel the need to inform me about their whereabouts.
I have mentioned a few out of many problems I have to face because of my mother-in-law! The gift of time and love is what kids need and not materials. Materialistic gifts should be reserved for occasions as children must learn about the value they hold. This feeling is extremely overwhelming, but let me tell you what to do when you see your Saas spoiling your kids.
As a mother, I certainly cannot relate with my Saas’s thought process because I haven’t experienced this relationship yet. As a mother, I have set certain rules and routines for my children, which eventually leads to expectations. I shared my frustration with my husband. He encouraged me to speak with my Saas directly, and be honest about how I feel.
It took me time, but I finally managed to put forward my concerns and had an open discussion with my Saas. I nicely explained to her how problematic the kids were becoming, how their mood swings were developing, and how often they had started falling sick. I was fully prepared for this conversation with reasoning, and the number of instances I had noticed, which helped because I just did not randomly start speaking.
I told her that I realized how much she loves the kids, and it means a lot to us all, but we need to set certain boundaries to raise the kids properly. We must go hand in hand and choose what is best for them because there is no way on this earth one can separate kids from grandparents, and no one should, but a mother’s concern should matter as well. Here, I would like to acknowledge my Saas as she understood my concerns and assured me that she would be careful in the future. It would have been troubled, had I not spoken to her. I believe conversations lead to solutions, and we must communicate with one another.
Share your thoughts and experiences with your Saas, and her indulgence with your kids below! Thank you, and stay connected for more articles.