Essentially, a man gets married for procreation. This has been the main goal of marriage life instilled in all our minds ever since the onset of our menses. Unfortunately in our society, the inability to bear offspring is looked down upon, either with pity or with pure disdain. Infertility is, in essence, a taboo topic and is usually directed towards us, women, who through no fault of their own, have to carry the burden and shame of being infertile.
Here are some tips for managing the issue of infertility in your Susral:
When your Saas keeps hinting to get yourself checked at the doctor, who she thinks can produce a magical drug for conception, you should, in turn, hint that maybe her son should also get a check-up since it takes two to tango. While I am certain that all she wants is grandkids, but the lack of awareness and education around infertility can cause a lot of pain and emotional damage to the person in question.
Reach out for help
Many times infertility is unexplained and is out of your control. As a result, one feels helpless, especially when the pressure to have children is pressing down upon you from all ends. Hence you must reach out for help and seek support from your loved ones whom you can take into confidence to express your feelings or by talking to a professional about it to align your feelings properly. You can also join a support group on social media to connect with others going through a similar experience.
Weigh your options
Infertility often leads to us being hopeless especially in the near future. Therefore, one should always consider the options that science has made available. For instance, you should talk to your spouse about certain treatments that would perhaps give a ray of hope in the coming future. For example, take an appointment with an infertility expert.
Instead of moping around the house and dodging looks from your Saas, who may blame you for not giving her grandkids, you can take all those feelings and express them more healthily. Perhaps learn a new skill, or take up a class that you always aspired to take. The idea is to keep your life moving so that you are not defined by your infertility. You are much more than that.
Having to go to Susrali Dawats is nothing short of torture. Mainly when the first question you are asked is, “How many kids do you have?” upon getting a reply that does not sit well with their preconceived notions, it is followed by a rather pitiful question, “How long have you been married?” God forbid if the answer exceeds more than a year, there comes an awkward silence followed by an abrupt change of topic. Such personal questions add salt to your wound and you are soaked in embarrassment. The bitter reality of these situations is that you cannot escape such encounters and just have to keep your head up high and not be perturbed by these vultures. To be ready to deal with such unwanted situations, there are certain coping mechanisms that one can master:
01. Meditation is something that can be practiced whenever and wherever. You can practice that by closing your eyes and centering your focus on one thing that you like or are excited about. Don’t forget to take deep breaths. There are a lot of meditation classes that you can join or even find free of charge online.
02. Exercising regularly has its benefits. It gets your heart rate up and brings down stress levels significantly. Not to mention you feel great after a thorough cardio session which is achievable by either jogging or walking at a nearby park, joining the gym, or taking up any fitness classes available in your vicinity.
03. Helping others through acts of kindness often makes you forget about your worries. It can be as simple as giving away your old clothes to your house help or something like joining a charity or NGO. That way your mind is always occupied.
04. Lastly, journal writing often helps in learning to love yourself for all your strengths. Jotting down things that you are grateful for, can certainly help you count your blessings in life which, in turn, leads to a positive frame of mind.
I hope these tips will help you manage this time well and make this journey a little less daunting.
Books to help you conceive your baby:
Addendum to this article by Editor Surviving Susral
Here are some top-selling and best-recommended books for you to read and conceive your baby.
- Fertile by Emma Cannon has amassed excellent reviews on Amazon. The book shares. She offers excellent recipes and tips that have changed the lives of thousands of women, who after following the recipes and lifestyle changes recommended by Emma have been able to welcome the arrival of their little bundles of joy.
- Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 20th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Tomi Weschler is a bestseller on Amazon, and as it is full of great advice about fertility, natural birth control, and reproductive health. In this book, Tomi discusses reproductive health issues and mechanisms to help women understand how they can better understand their bodies and reproductive health and related issues including PCOS, future fertility, miscarriages, and factors behind unusual bleeding.
- Yes, You Can Get Pregnant: Natural Ways to Improve Your Fertility Now and into Your 40s by Aimee Raupp is a ray of hope for the women who have been time and again told by others that their chances of conceiving were low. Written by women’s health and fertility expert, Aimee Raupp, this book offers great news for many women who had given up on the idea of getting pregnant.