It’s the 21st century; women’s empowerment is not just a slogan anymore. It’s a reality and strength for so many of us. It’s a blessing that comes from within. The debate of whether a woman should build a career and become independent or just stick to her house chores and looking after her children has been going on for ages. And as much as it is a personal preference that completely depends on one’s situation and customs, it’s a calculated risk that women mindfully take. In this article, I am going to discuss with you some pros and cons of being a working mom while keeping in mind several aspects so that you can pick if you want to be a working mom or a stay at home mom.
First things first, women while making this decision might have questions like, “How will I manage a job with children in susral? Who will look after my children? Will my absence affect their up-bringing? Will my in-laws allow me and will they be supportive?” These are the tough decisions and things you need to figure out before making this decision. Then there are some other aspects such as:
Financial aspect – money
If you work you will be able to financially contribute to your family’s expenditures. The both of you can together secure a more promising future for your child. You won’t be dependent on anyone for your little needs and you will feel satisfactory confidence from within. Gender and role equality is established, however, this totally depends on your spouse. If they allow you and feel good about it, this would be a good thing. On the contrary, if they are conservative or would become offended, comparative, or insecure of you, I’d say it isn’t worth it. I have seen some women who work their asses off while managing their jobs along with their houses and then had to deal with the husband’s tantrums and I advised them not to burn the candle from both ends and just quit and demand a handsome amount of pocket money from the husband.
Distribution of labor/ house chores
Is your spouse helpful with the house chores and would he treat you like an equal after you start earning or would he still expect to get everything done and served in front of him when he gets back home from work? Would you both be able to work out of the house as well as inside the house like two tires of the same vehicle or would the entire burden be put on your shoulders? Discuss this with your spouse and if you have that kind of bonding and understanding, this is a green flag otherwise a red flag.
Influence on children
This is the tricky part and can be the game-changer of your working career. The task is to make your children well-mannered and obedient. If it is successfully done and the right bond with the children is established, being a working mom can help in teaching your children work ethics and responsibility to contribute towards the house at a very early age.
Fathers work in all houses but the children naturally are closer to the mothers so when they see their mothers working so hard to earn money, they naturally understand the value of money at an early age, and it is established in their minds that they weren’t born with a silver spoon in the mouth. They stop demanding extravagant accessories and become more sensible. They start contributing to house chores and become more responsible. They become independent. They learn how to take care of themselves sooner.
Having a job keeps you productive even if it’s a small job and you don’t earn that much. I asked different women around me and deduced that the women who earn even two thousand rupees per month were satisfied and felt good about themselves. One woman said, “I work because it keeps me away from the twenty-four-hour drama that goes on in my susral and those 5 hours I go to work help me refresh my mind. Away from the daily politics and away from the saas-bahu serial our lives become while living in susral”.It gives you aim and interacting with different people improves your personality. You explore your skills and enhance your skills. It gives you a sense of accomplishment that always feels good. It makes you punctual and teaches you time management.
Let’s be honest – it will make your routine really hectic and that can sometimes be overwhelming. You will be having so much responsibility on your shoulder. You’ll have to wake up early, look after your children, house, your job and then yourself. Phew, that’s a whole lot of responsibility, isn’t it? You’ll be tired and sleepy and will have to compromise a lot of things. So that would definitely be a con. Being a working mom does keep you busy but the question is, are you willing to be that much busy or not?
You might not be able to be that much available for your child or your family. You might have to miss out on a lot of things. You might have to miss important events like your child’s parent-teacher meeting or award ceremony for your husband’s business lunch for your own work commitment and then feel guilty about being unavailable later. It is really tough to not be able to go to your family’s important events just for some unavoidable job issues. So, consider whether you would be willing to risk this? Children grow up way too fast and being able to just sit there stress-free and enjoy every tiny little step they take to every achievement in their lives is such an underrated blessing.
I hope these aspects helped you figure out if being a working mom could be your cup of tea or not. If I missed anything or you have any counter arguments, let’s talk it out in the comment section.