How often do the parents of the bride-to-be assess the potential Rishtas (proposals)? Ever wondered why? We are dwelling in the era of advancements where smart problems require smart solutions. Can we ponder for a moment that, why is it so necessary to assess approximately 100 proposals to be finally married?
Let’s think about it the other way round:
Marriage is a beautiful kindred only ensues when it is the will of Allah, the Almighty. Then, why are our parents supposed to assess the potential Rishtas so critically? Just in case you are worried about the standards of society, they change constantly. However, battling the assessment of a potential Rishta makes the bride-to-be anxious about her self-esteem. Parents want their daughters to be the luckiest creature on the face of earth meanwhile in sub-conscious: Allah is the best of planners (Qur’an 8: 30).
Stop hustling and just wait for the right time. Keep on trying to find the righteous spouse for the bride-to-be and leave the rest to Allah, the Almighty.
On a polite note, isn’t it unnecessary to showcase the bride-to-be assessing the potential Rishta for every now and then? Because your daughter isn’t a showpiece to be assessed by someone, why assess someone’s son? Just for fun?
Maybe not for fun, but it doesn’t make any sense to assess the potential Rishta for not considering it later on. At this juncture, the ambiguity is how to get the daughter married if not going to assess the potential Rishta(s). Whatsoever, this tea trolley tradition needs to end. Think about the solution more often rather than the problem, and this tradition isn’t a solution anyways.
Pray, Pray, and Pray:
What you cannot see, Allah can. What you cannot sense ahead, Allah can. What is good for your daughter, you don’t know better than Allah. Pray as you need Allah in every matter of life- be it the simplest or hardest, in happiness or in gloominess, and whenever you feel lost. Marriage is a commitment to fulfill with all your heart and soul and the Rishta hunt is the staircase towards it.
*Make lots of Du’a’*
Because after making Du’a’ you will be feeling light since your matter is handed over to the Lord of the world and heaven and everything in between. Worrying leads you nowhere, but being a parent, it is as concerning as the matter of “to be or not to be”.
Consequently, the Rishta hunt is an expedition to reach the desired goals set by parents already. Instead of setting standards and assessing the potential Rishta according to the parameters defined by the society that leads you astray, try to act practically. If something isn’t good for you who would you expect it to be in your life afterward, probably no one? If you don’t want anything bad in your life, why would Allah will it to be? Keep faith in Him and leave this matter of assessing the potential Rishta for the bride-to-be to him only.