Anonymous Bahu #01 Struggles With Susrali Issues – Episode 03 (09-07-2020)

Continued from Episode 02

Problems grow:

Just after the 3rd month of my marriage, it was summer and they bought just one AC saying everybody will sleep in one room. I tried convincing my husband but he didn’t understand anything! Everyday was a new problem for me.

Fast forward to the 8th month, my husband had gone abroad for his office work, so I went to my mom’s place and finally they kept a maid for washing dishes.

Baby’s birth – pain and maltreatment:

In my last month the Dr. told me that the baby hadn’t engaged her head yet so it might be a c-section because the baby was breech.The moment the Dr. said “c-section” my saas started, “Haaaan khati peeeti nhi hai, chalti nhi hai.” I used to live on the second floor and obviously we didn’t have a lift there! 

Now came my delivery time! I went for CTG and the Dr. told me they felt that baby’s heartbeat dip once so they admitted me saying if they find everything fine they will induce me. In the evening they induced me. I started having pains but the severity wasn’t that much. 

Then the next morning they went for a tablet. The pain increased but severity wasn’t okay. So in the evening they put the second tablet saying if it didn’t work they would put the third one in the morning.

At midnight the labour pains started and I delivered the baby at 8:00 am after so much pain. After 2-3 days my baby started showing the signs of jaundice. To this the Dr. said she had to be kept in blue light. We agreed. I went to the nursery to feed her so when I entered the room, I saw her crying badly. The moment I held her in my arms, she stopped and slept.

That was such an emotional moment for me that I couldn’t hold back my tears. I went back to the hospital room with teary eyes. I so wanted to talk to my husband, but he started shouting at me ke “Tumnai feeed karatawai huay parda kaisai band kya?”   Meree Ammi and khala ko insulting feel hua- although they weren’t the only people there. There were a lot of male members there too. Like my SIL’s husband, BIL, khala’s husband, her son, my FIL, but NO. My saas made an issue out of this and my husband started shouting ke “Aisai karoge to kaisai chalega? Meri maa ki insult karwadi. Wo to bhaut Naraz hain. Maaafi mangooo tum.” Again as usual I had to say sorry…

The next day nobody from my in-laws came to meet me; not even my husband! Only my family was with me. I came back home. My carpal tunnel syndrome got severe post delivery. 

Finally, after two weeks my in-laws came to take me. I had to go.Now after going to my in-laws, just after two or three days my wrist was in so much pain that I wasn’t able to put my child to bed. I asked for the help of my MIL and till date she says, “Iski padaish k baaaad to tumharay hath paon tairhay hogaye thai …”

Privacy intruded:

She didn’t stop here. She started telling my husband to sleep with her because “he had to go to office and his sleep will get disturbed.” And he did what his mother told him. We didn’t have anything (sex) until my child was six months old… Whole pregnancy she used to control our sex life saying 3 months are very critical. You can’t have it. 

Even in the last trimester of my pregnancy, she had been making my husband’s mind saying that it can induce labour, so he should not do it…

Intrusion continues – raising the baby:

Again, how could she stop? She started saying that I don’t have enough supply to feed my little darling, but it was all wrong because she used to vomit soured milk which is always a sign of overfeeding. She forced my child’s pediatrician that I don’t take proper diet thus I have low supply. He prescribed supplements. Initially it was just at night time then she would start shouting ke, “Din mai q nahi daiti? Husband ko bhi time daina hota hai.”  It wasn’t like that. My husband works in the other half of the day so he sleeps during the day… Issues on not making a routine of the month was another big issue.. 

‘Bachi ka sir nhi banaya’ was another drama.. ‘naak nhi khari’ another issue… In all of this my husband was getting far away from me. Postpartum depression was hitting me so bad. I had no one to share with and depression was growing. Sometimes I used to feel like killing myself. Sometimes I wanted to beat my baby up, but I controlled it for my baby because no one was there to help me out! 

After this began the 2nd year of my marriage which is a lot more drama. I will be sharing it soon…

To be continued… Episode 04

Published by SS Editor on behalf of an anonymous author